51 - Fairytales Aren't for Everybody

About forty-five minutes into their trip – a trip with a destination that Lilah wouldn’t reveal – she tapped Tony on the thigh and pointed to the right, indicating that she wanted him to pull over.   Obliging her request, he eased the bike to the side of the road. 

This trip was unlike their Ireland adventure.  Instead of meandering country roads, they were taking the major roadways.  Apparently this was the more efficient way to reach their mysterious destination.  At the moment, though, they were on a stretch of road that had a meadow on either side.    It was one of the more rural spots that they’d traveled through.

“What’s up?” he asked twisting around after taking off his helmet and carefully bringing it to rest on his thigh.  No way was he screwing up the paint job of the white beauty they were riding.  

While the sleek Harley Softail Heritage was nothing short of mechanical majesty, he personally would have preferred the black one.  He had a thing for black, and would’ve chosen it if Lilah hadn’t kept giving this one yearning glances.  Tony had ended up being the nice guy and picked the one she wanted, even though she hadn’t asked.

Shucking her helmet left little crazy strands of hair sticking out in disarray all over her head, and he once again thought she looked good. 

He hadn’t been bullshitting her earlier.  High maintenance women weren’t his thing.  A woman who could look and be comfortable with no more than a ponytail and a pair of sparkly shades was more his speed, and he liked that she could be casual without trying to be casual. 

“The sign back there… did you see it?  Marksburg?”

“Yeah.”

“Follow the rest of the signs that say Marksburg.”  She moved to reseat her helmet, but he stopped her.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don’t you think it’s time to tell me where the hell we’re going?”

Lilah’s grin was full of mischief, letting him know he was in trouble even before she practically sing-songed, “A fairytale castle.”

“A what?”

She hadn’t really just said a fairytale castle, had she?  Visions of Cinderella’s castle at Disneyland filled his mind, and the last time he’d taken Jon’s kids there.  Romeo had thrown up in the moat after discovering how lethal the combination of junk food and high speed amusement park rides could be.

Needless to say, Tony didn’t have a soft spot for castles.

She shrugged helplessly, as though she really had no choice in the matter.  “You said you didn’t know if there were enchanted forests in Germany, so I found us a fairytale castle instead.  Every knight in shinin’ armor has to ride his noble steed over to check out the local fairytale castle , right?”

“Knight in shining armor…?”  Oh, HELL no.  Tony dismounted the bike and turned to incredulously confront her, helmet tucked under his arm.  “Is that why you wanted the white Harley?  For a fucking fairytale?”

Her eyes were occluded by sunglasses, but he saw her forehead wrinkle.  “I thought it would be kinda neat, just because it fit in with the theme, but you’re the one who picked the motorcycle.”

“Because you wanted it.”  Uncomfortable with where this whole thought process was going, he calmly dug in his front pocket in search of cigarettes, and shook one out so that he could capture it in his mouth.  Dropping them into his helmet, he dug out the accompanying lighter and lit the smoke with a muffled sigh.

Shoving her sunglasses onto the top of her head, Lilah squinted at him in the early afternoon sunlight, her face a study in confusion.  “Tony, what’s the matter?” 

I’m not some Sir Fuck-Me-Right  that can make your life sunshine and roses with the wave of my dick.  It bugs me that you might think I am.  It bugs me even more that you’re going to be seriously disappointed for thinking it. 

“Baby, I don’t know what the hell you have in your head about me, but I’m just a guy from Jersey.  That’s it.  I’m not a hero, I didn’t save your life, and I certainly don’t belong in any fucking fairytale you’re building in your head.”  He puffed on his cigarette, waiting to see what she had to say about that.

“Could you please come and help me get off this thing so I’m not stranded like a turtle on its back?”

In spite of himself, he smirked at the unexpectedness of her metaphor.  When her feet were on the ground, she balanced her helmet on the bike’s seat and turned to him, walking until her tennis shoes were almost touching the toes of his boots.  Lilah stuffed her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and squinted up at him. 

“I know exactly who you are, Anthony Bongiovi.  You did save my life, whether you meant to or not.  That makes you a hero in my eyes, but even so… you started with the enchanted forest, and I just carried it out because I thought I was bein’ cute.  That’s all.  Doesn’t matter to me if we go to a castle or a brewery.”

Sincerity rang true in her eyes, her body language and her voice.  Her chin dipped and she avidly studied the ground, scuffing at it with her toe before lifting her face again. 

““I’m just a girl from Kentucky.”  She was staring vacantly at a spot behind his right shoulder, speaking into space rather than to him directly.  As though she’d removed herself from the situation, her eyes had gone vacant and unseeing and her voice was quietly monotone.  “And you’re a guy from Jersey who has already given me more of a fairytale than I deserve.   I don’t have any expectations beyond that.”

The cigarette butt hit the ground, and Tony crushed the fire out of it, feeling a little like that’s what he’d done to Lilah.   His own insecurities had spilled over into the idyllic day she’d arranged for them, causing him to overreact. 

Once upon a time – ironically enough – he’d thought he found the fairytale and married his princess.  Then she started fucking the court jester, whom she found far more entertaining.  It was proof positive to Tony that he wasn’t prince – or knight – material, and that happily ever after was a crock. 

At least for him.  His brothers and parents seemed to be living proof to the contrary, leaving Tony as the only relationship challenged one in the family.

You suck at happily ever after, but here and now…  You can do that.

“Lilah…”  He gently scooted his fingers in between hers until they were fully interlocked and tugged her toward him.  “You deserve a fairytale, but I can’t give it to you.  I can give you the rest of the month, but anything beyond that…”

“I haven’t asked for anything beyond that, so there’s no point in worryin’ about it.” 

With that, she popped up on her toes and touched her lips softly to his in a kiss that almost wasn’t a kiss.  There was no passion lurking in its depths.  It was a simple gesture that carried with it acceptance and reassurance.  She was willing to accept him – as he was – and whatever he chose to give her as long as she could be with him.

It made him feel like a leech.  She deserved more.

Here and now, Bongiovi.  If here and now is it, then give her all of here and now. 

His helmet hit ground with a light ‘thud’ and rolled as he slid an open palm over her nape to keep her close.  The almost-wasn’t kiss grew into something more as he pushed his way into her mouth, greedily taking her sweetness for his own. 

She instantly whimpered, wrapping her arms around his torso and clinging like ivy.  The way she so eagerly stuck to him and opened without any hesitation made him feel… overpoweringly wanted.  Tony hooked his other arm around her back and crushed her to his chest while his mouth was busy bruising the tender softness of her lips. 

In his own mind he knew he wasn’t a hero, but damn if she didn’t make him feel like one.

“You ever done it in the woods?” he breathed against her mouth, and then nipped the swollen fullness of her lower lip.  Immediately after, he laved it with his tongue to soothe the sting. 

He didn’t give a shit where they were.  He wanted her.  More than that, he wanted to make her come.  

If he couldn’t do anything else for her, by God, he could do that.

She eased her mouth away from his to quickly scan their surroundings.  When she spotted the small cluster of trees a fair distance from the road, her eyes went molten.  “Are you serious?”

Tony put both hands on her hips and pulled her tight against him.  There was no way she could miss the blatant erection that jerked at first contact with the softness of her tummy.  “That answer your question?”

“Mmm...”  Lilah hugged him tighter.  “Yeah.”

“Now answer mine,” he rumbled against her neck, moving up to nuzzle her ear.

“No.  I haven’t.”

“Are you feeling adventurous today?”

“Ohh,” she sighed, tipping her head to give him better access.  “I’ll go anywhere you wanna take me.”

Talk about a rush…

It took only a matter of minutes before they were sequestered behind a cluster of trees, the motorcycle tucked into the grove of trees with them.  The first thing Tony did was push the leather jacket from her shoulders.

“Damn, Bluegrass.  Have I told you how much I like that shirt?”

He immediately dipped his head to make good on his promise from earlier and dragged his lips over the supple white flesh, with no care at all for the beard burn he was going to leave behind.    In fact, he was a little rougher than he would normally be, spurred on by her soft moan and twitchy fingers buried in the back of his hair.

Pushing his hands up under the sexy black tank, he lazily licked along the sweet valley that was strategically exposed between mounds that were now a rosy shade of pink.  When his fingertips bumped into something that didn’t feel like her usual satin or lace, Tony withdrew with a curious frown and lifted the hem of her shirt.

“Sonofabitch…”

She snickered softly at his virtually hissed epithet, devouring him with dewy eyes.  “Does that mean you like it?”

“That’s exactly what the fuck it means.”  He snatched the tank over her head and dropped it on top of the jacket that lay at their feet.  “Leather bra and jeans?  It don’t get no hotter than that.”

The button on her pants came undone easily, and the zipper slid down without a fight so that he could work his hand inside the denim and the cotton panties that they covered.  He pushed his middle finger through the folds that were already wet, and her startled gasp only provoked him to go a step further.  Without pausing, he let that same finger finish its trip on the slicky slide and dive right into the tunnel at its end.

“Jersey!” 

Her gasp was enough to set his short hairs on end.  “I want you, baby.  I want my cock right where my finger is.  Want you to milk me dry when you come.”

“Yes.  Oh God, yes.”

He slowly slid his middle finger in and out of her slick heat, easing her back a step with each stroke.  The feel of a woman’s silky soft wetness was unlike anything else in the world, and Tony thought he was getting just as aroused by the fingering as she was.  He could feel the damp spot on his boxers getting bigger.

Stopping about two steps from the bike, he took his time, tickling her clit before pulling his hand completely free of her pants.  “Turn around and put your hands on the bike seat,” he ordered gruffly, shoving the denim down over her hips when she had done so. 

Black leather bra, jeans around the knees, pussy wide and wet.  On a Harley. 

Tony might have just found his own fairytale come true. 

He let his own pants and boxers fall around his knees, taking himself in hand and lining up with her entrance.  Dredging through the damp, swollen folds, he used her moisture to lubricate the hard flesh that ached to be inside her. 

“Brace yourself, baby,” was all the warning he gave her before pushing into the velvet vice of her core. 

“Ohhh.  God.”

“That feel good?  Hm?” An experimental thrust of his hips assured him she was going to stay on her feet without shoving the Harley over.  Another thrust had her soft moan filling his ears and drawing up his balls at the same time.

“Mmmmm…”

Slipping his hand around her hip, he sought out the tight little bead that lived in the midst of her dark curls.  Flicking it once, he took his turn to groan when her muscles tightened around him.

“Damn.  That’s it, baby.”

His own excitement and arousal mounting, Tony focused on her pleasure while he still could.  Teasing, flicking and pinching her throbbing clit, he coaxed her to the edge, eager to dive over with her. 

“Lilah…  Come for me, sweetheart.”

“Can’t…” she panted, and he could feel her legs quivering against his.  “Feels good, but I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.  Tell me.  What can I do?”

“Just…  ohhhh God…  talk to me.”

He switched it up a little, tapping his middle finger firmly against her clit in rhythm with his strokes.  The wetness that coated the both of them told Tony she had to be close.  She just needed a little push, he thought, as he bent forward to rasp in her ear.  “What?  You want me to tell you how good your pussy feels?  It does.  So fucking good on my cock.”

“Unnnnggghhhh!”

His hands came up to curl hard over her hips as she ground herself into him with a strangled cry.  “That’s a good girl…  Let it all go.   Push that sweet ass into me.  Let me make you feel good.  Ohhhh.. fuckkk…”

Her release had given him permission to take his own pleasure and the words falling from his mouth became random babble as she sucked him in.  Over and over she clutched him, bouncing against him until he dug into her flesh and growled out his own satisfaction, huffing against her bare back with exertion.

Spent and unable to risk moving his feet just yet, for fear he would fall and take her with him, Tony stayed where he was and peppered light kisses over her shoulder blade. 

“So…” he murmured against her skin.  “Wanna go see a castle?”

**My apologies, but there will be no post on Sunday, March 3 as  I'll be in Florida recovering from Friday and Saturday's concerts.  Back to the regular schedule Wednesday, March 6!!  In the meantime, look for pics and videos on Facebook and YouTube!  :D   ~♥blush

50 - Harley Ho

TO: Morgan Prince

FROM: MissLilahJane

July 12, 2011

Well… I’m nothing but a trashy ‘ho.  Yes, I realize that’s one of your favorite terms of endearments for me, but I think I’m starting to live up to it.  I’ve arranged to rent a motorcycle here in Dusseldorf and convinced Tony to take me for a ride. 

Stop huffing.  That’s not the trashy part.

I want him to choose the bike, but I DON’T want him to pay for it, so I went ahead to the bike shop to give them my credit card info in case he tries to.  Anyway, turns out there is a little Harley store inside the show, which has clothing and the like.  They had the cutest tank with Harley Davidson written across it in rhinestones.  You know how I LOVE rhinestones, so I got it, thinking maybe that he would laugh at what he calls my ‘thing for shiny shit’. 

What’s the big deal?  Um, well…  It’s got a cut out part above the rhinestones and below the neckline.  A big cut out part in the shape of a pea pod that pops my cleavage out there for the world to see.  Yeah.  That’s a problem, seeing as my cleavage isn’t all that spectacular.  I immediately got insecure, but LOVED the top.  Then… lo and behold… what to my wandering eye should appear?  A leather push-up bra. Why wouldn't a Harley shop have a leather push-up bra, right?

Trashy.  Ho.

That is all.

Tapping the send button on her phone’s email program, Lilah glanced up at the heavy footsteps approaching her chair in the lobby of the Intercontinental Dusseldorf.  As soon as she identified the source of the footsteps, she ordered her heart to stop thumping a mile a minute and tipped her head back to smile up at him.

In her head she kept replaying a single line of Angel’s excited-yet-chastising email from last night:  He sounds like the perfect man for you, Li-Lee!

Was he?  Despite her infatuation and enamor, she hadn’t come here looking for a man to call hers. The sole mission had been to make this man feel important enough to take care of himself and know that he was valuable on his own merits.  His turning out to be funny, sweet, protective and the fact that he sent her hormones raging off the charts was all clutterdust. 

Now somebody just had to tell her heart that. 

Don't forget that other thing, Lilah Jane.  You came here for that, too.

It was nowhere near the right time for that conversation. The more she thought about it, the more she wasn't sure there would ever be a right time for it.  She'd do well just to keep her mouth shut on that particular topic.  

Unless he happened to bring it up...

“Hey, handsome," she greeted warmly, discarding the silly notion.  "How was your trip?”

Bags slung over his shoulder and feet planted wide, Tony dug his hands into his pockets and returned her smile.  “Hey.  It was okay.  Where’s your gear?”

“Upstairs.  A very thoughtful man made sure they had my name at the desk, so I’ve already checked in.  Thank you.”

A fleeting frown skittered across his face.  “You're welcome, but if you checked in, why didn’t you wait for me upstairs?”

Because as soon as the door closed behind you, I wouldn’t have cared about a motorcycle.

“Gettin’ in my daily dose of people watchin’.  It’s a great pastime,” she improvised the half-truth. When Lilah rose to her feet, the sides of the leather jacket – that she’d taken great pains in keeping together  – fell open, exposing her new Harley shirt.  And her cleavage.

She was acutely aware that Tony’s eyes were drawn to the cutout in the center of the shirt whose soft cotton clung tightly to her body under the jacket’s camouflaging outline.  His cocked eyebrow paired with little smirk of awareness made her skin tingle. 

Despite the interest implied by his facial expression, a dry, “More shiny shit,” was his only remark.

So much for tinglin’ Lilah Jane.  He’s more interested in your advertisin’ properties than your leather-squooshed cleavage.

“Yep.”  She shrugged, pulling the jacket closed again.  “My obsession with sparkly stuff strikes again.  I’m either part magpie or Elton John’s bastard lovechild.”

His burst of laughter smoothed her ruffled magpie feathers.  If he didn’t melt with lust at the sight of her womanly attributes, at least she could make him laugh.  Laughter and happy were a hand-in-hand kind of thing.  If she was making him happy, Lilah would be content with laughter.

Tony curled his fingers into the lapels of her jacket, using his grip to urge her a step closer to him.  “I like your shiny shit.  But…”  His right thumb slipped between the lapels and lightly traced the pale valley between her breasts, and his voice fell to little more than a whisper.  “I’d like the shirt even without it.”

His eyes roved over her low ponytail, the rhinestone sprinkled sunglasses perched on her head, a face that was devoid of anything but sunscreen and mascara, and the small gold hoops tucked into her earlobes.  She knew she didn’t look great, not even for her, but her head was going to be stuck inside a helmet for hours.  Foofy hair and exotic makeup had seemed pointless.

He, of course, looked great in one of his customary black t-shirts, jeans and boots. 

He’s ready to ride and still looks good enough to eat.  Life isn’t freakin’ fair sometimes.

“You look good, Bluegrass.”

Lilah’s eyebrows slammed down in immediate denial.  Was he reading her mind, or was her dismay that obvious?  She took a sharp step back while shaking her head and dismissing the entire thing with a chuckle.  “If I look good like this, then you’ve been spendin’ too much time with Mike Rew.”

She peered pointedly at the big clock hanging over the registration desk.  “Daylight’s wastin’, Jersey.  Go throw your stuff in the room and I’ll get a taxi.”

“Hey.”  Masculine fingers curled around her wrist, preventing her from breezing past him on her mission.  “No question I’m spending too much time with Rew, but that doesn’t mean I’ve gone blind.  I hate it when you blow me off like that.”

“I hate the polite game,” she countered, stubbornly setting her jaw.  “Where people say nice things just because it’s appropriate.”

The second the words were out, Lilah wished she could bite them back.  They’d come out sharper than she intended.  He’d never done that with her before, so why was she taking her issues with other people out on him?

Damn your stupid ‘tone’, Lilah Jane.  You’ve likely just ruined what was gonna be a nice day, and why?  Because you don’t know how to take a compliment. 

Tony, rather than getting upset, just grinned at her.  “Appropriate?  That’s not a word I’m real familiar with.  Let me prove it to ya…”  Still holding firmly to her wrist, he stepped near and inclined his head to speak quietly in her ear.  “First chance I get, my face is going in that cutout on your shirt to make those milky white titties a bright shade of whisker-burn red.  Then I’m gonna laugh when somebody asks if you got sunburned.  Still think I’m appropriate?”

“This is why I’m in the lobby,” she confessed abruptly, turning toward him with her eyes zeroed in on his mouth.  “If I waited upstairs we wouldn’t have enough time to ride.  I’d be more interested in you than a Harley.”

“And yet you haven’t even fucking kissed me?”

His teasing indignation had her grinning face going pink with sheer delight.  “Maybe I was waiting for you to kiss me.”

“Wait's over,” he declared gruffly, bending to take her lips with his. 

Lilah savored the moment, yet wasted no time in pushing for more.  Her tongue slid into his mouth with a sigh and tangled sensually with his until gentle fingers touched her cheek.  Remembering where they were and the total lack of …  appropriateness… she reluctantly ended the kiss.

Being alone last night had been fine, but not having the taste of him on her lips, or the smell of him on the pillow, or the heat of him at her side had been... disappointing.  Mind fleeting back to his email, which she had filed away in a special folder marked 'TBJ', she let her hands drift reluctantly down his chest and took a small backward step.

“I missed you, too, Jersey.”

His goatee went lopsided with the half-smile that snuck its way onto his mouth.  “Good to know.”

She was going to end up embarrassing herself before long if she didn’t get her emotions and hormones under control.  In lieu of spitting out three words she had no business spitting out, she cocked a sassy hip and jerked her head toward the elevators. 

“Now dump your stuff so we can hit the road.  I’ll meet you out front.”

“Damn.  You can be a bossy little thing.  I didn’t think ya had it in ya,” he chuckled, meandering toward the bank of shiny elevator doors. 

“You’d be surprised what I have inside of me,” she muttered to herself before lifting her voice and calling out, “Don’t forget your camera.”

49 - It Came to Me in a Dream

From the doorway in his parents’ living room, Tony could see that the Christmas tree was lit in the same white lights he had known since his childhood.  His mom loved those white lights.  She said they looked classier than the colored ones.  Elegant.  Carol Bongiovi adored those touches of elegant in her home. 

Brightly wrapped gifts in a variety of shapes and sizes were piled beneath, and his younger niece and nephews ran amok through the house laughing and playing.   Looking to the far side of the room, he could see the older ones on the sofa engaged in conversation with the adults.   It was one of the rare holidays that the whole family was together. 

“Anthony.”  His mother’s voice captured his attention from behind and he turned with a smile. On her hip was a baby, less than a year old and with no more than a downy fuzz of dark hair.  At least, he assumed it was a little girl from the red stretchy bow on her head that matched the little plaid pants and shirt.

“Yeah, Mom?”

“I changed her diaper, but now she wants Daddy.”  Laughing, she tightened her grip around the little girl’s waist when she threw the full weight of her body toward Tony, pudgy little arms waving in the air.   “Don’t you sweet girl?”

He had no idea who this baby was, but he was certain Jon hadn’t had another child, so she must belong to Matt and his wife, Desiree.

“Matt’s right over there,” he told her, nodding toward the group on the sofas. 

His mother’s eyes rolled toward the ceiling with an aggravated.  “Is that supposed to be funny?  Here… take your daughter.”

Tony jerked awake at the first strains of Coldplay’s “Clocks” blaring out of his phone.  Open palm groping blindly, he finally found the offending instrument and squinted one eye to zero in on the slide bar that would deactivate the alarm.  One quick swipe and his room was blissfully silent again – leaving nothing but his thoughts to break the quiet.

Dropping the phone onto his stomach, he thought once again how he hated that dream.  He’d had it probably half a dozen times since they’d been on tour, and despised the pointed reminder of his offspring shortage.  

As soon as the tour finished, he was headed to the Sturgis Bike Rally for a week or so.  After that, he needed to schedule some time with his brothers’ kids.  Uncle Tony would bring them all to California so they could go to Disneyland or something.  A few days with six kids ranging in age from three to eighteen generally killed any wayward parental longing he might have.

Now, though, it was time to hit the road again. 

He snatched the phone off his stomach and threw back the covers to sit on the side of the bed.  It only took seconds to tap out a text to Lilah. 

[7:03 AM]TONY: I’ll be at the Intercontinental before noon.

Returning the phone to the bedside table, he stood and stretched before grabbing a cigarette and some clean clothes.  Tonight he would be too tired to dream.  Lilah would make sure of that.

✧✧✧

Lilah turned over, heart racing, blindly searching for the chiming, vibrating phone.  It couldn’t be more than five or six in the morning, and a recurring bad dream had kept her awake off and on all night.  She was seriously not finished sleeping yet. 

Narrowing her eyes against the bright screen that lit a spot in the still-black hotel room, she enjoyed a little jolt of happy adrenaline when the blurry letters came into focus.  It was a nice change from the terror-induced adrenaline variety.

That explains six in the morning.   He’s an hour ahead of me right now.  He must be getting ready for the airport.

[6:05]LILAH: What’s on your agenda after that?

No immediate answer came, and she perched the iPhone in the center of her chest while her still-sleepy eyes drifted shut to wait.  He was probably in the shower or packing. 

The day was overcast.  The clouds weren’t ominous, but they were in a pale, sun-dampening shade of gray that cast an ugly pallor over the entire stadium.  The existing puddles looked thirsty, and in hopes that Mother Nature would soon feed them again. 

Looking out into the crowd that had been here as soon as the gates opened, Lilah saw they had their thin, plastic rain ponchos at the ready, in case the heavens should reopen.  This European crowd let nothing deter them from their shows.

She stepped back out of sight and retreated to wander through the back stage area, finally feeling it was okay to be there.  If she wasn’t welcome, she was at least tolerated.  That had been proven by Jon’s friendly smile and wave as he passed into the Underworld to check his quick change room.

David and Tico nodded as she prepared to follow Jon under the stage, and gave their own congenial waves as they wound their way back to the dressing rooms.  She knew that because Richie had gone ahead of them in the same direction, carrying a garment bag.

She found herself at Tony’s desk, somehow knowing he’d answered the call to come and  take care of a problem somewhere else in the stadium.  Sitting in the high-back office chair, she spun around to face the board and intently studied all of the little buttons and switches.  There was a sea of them.  She couldn’t imagine anyone would know what they all did

Pushing the chair to the right, her foot bumped into one of the huge, oversized electrical plugs and pushed it into a puddle.  Electricity zoomed from her sandaled foot, up her leg and into her chest….

“Lord a’mighty,” she gasped, rising up off the bed and clutching at the vibration against her sternum.  “Friggin’ dreams!”

It was similar to what she’d been experiencing all night.  Sometimes it was her that got electrocuted and sometimes it was Tony, but the end result was always the same.  One of them ended up on the ground, unconscious.  That was how she described it to herself, at least.  She refused to consider that either one of them actually died.

A flat palm came to cradle her curdling stomach and she had to swallow back the bile that wanted to make an appearance. 

Stop it Lilah Jane.  It’s a dream, not a premonition.

Swiping her finger across the screen, she really hoped that was true.  What if her ‘intuition’ had started taking on a different medium?  The dream had played in one form or another at least four times that night.

[6:22 AM]TONY: Stadium later tonight to look over the setup.  Nothing specific other than that.

Put it out of your mind.  You’re gonna have a fun day, if he goes along with your plan.  Focus on that.

Determined to do just that, she went a step beyond texting.  Lilah scrolled in her contacts for his number and tapped it to dial.  His voice would drive the Boogey Man away faster than anything.

“Yo.”

Tension melted at the single syllable that was so very Tony.  It was enough to infuse an added warmth to her own greeting. 

“Yo yo’sef,” she returned with a small laugh.  “How are ya this mornin’?”

“I’m okay.  Just throwing my stuff together to get out of here.  How about you?”

“I’m fine, thank you.  Do you have a minute to talk, or do ya need to get goin’ to the airport?”

“My gear is just about packed.  I can spare a coupla minutes.  What’s up?”  As though to confirm his statement she heard the long rasp of a zipper – presumably the one on his black duffel. 

“Well…  I did a little research last night and found somethin’ I’d like to do today.  But it would involve you, so I wanted to see if you had a few hours to spare this afternoon.”

Lilah might have fudged the truth a little bit.  In a serendipitous moment, she thumbed through the hotel’s local area guide and happened upon a motorcycle rental company.  While it was true that she would enjoy herself and make a few more cherished memories, it was more about his pleasure than hers. 

“Probably.  What did you have in mind?”

A sleepy smirk creased her left cheek.  “Don’t sound so leery.  It’s not shoppin’ or anything like that.”

“How ‘bout you stow the psychic tendencies and just tell me, then?”  Taken at face value the words could have been harsh, but they were liberally laced with humor, so Lilah didn’t take offense.

She did, however, shiver briefly at his mention of psychic tendencies.

Move along, Lilah Jane.

“How about you stow the attitude and let me?” she bantered back, with the same liberal dose of humor.

“Baby, I’m from Jersey.  They issue attitude with your birth certificate, and there ain’t no stowing it.  I can play civilized when the occasion calls for it, but that’s as far as it goes.”

Honestly, she thought that was a load of crap.  His attitude was so subliminal that it almost didn’t exist.  He was quietly confident and determined, but he didn’t get up in anybody’s face with it – that she’d seen anyway.  Not like his brothers, or his buddy Mike. 

“Mm,” she murmured noncommittally, keeping that thought to herself.  “Did you know there’s a place to rent motorcycles here in Dusseldorf?”

“Can’t say that I did.”

“They have a lot of different ones,” she threw out, feeding off the hint of interest in his voice.  “But there’s a large selection of Harleys, which I thought you might like.  Would you wanna take me on a ride this afternoon?”

“I thought you hated riding a bike?”

Hate an opportunity to wrap my arms and legs around you?  Not likely.

“I didn’t hate it at all.  The mere thought of a motorcycle scared the beepers out of me at first, but by the time we got back, I was lovin’ it.  You made it a lot of fun.”

“Beepers??”

Of course he would fixate on her eclectic redneck-isms.  No, that wasn’t true.  It had nothing to do with being redneck, it had to do with being Lilah Jane Bennett.  It was a Lilah-ism, and one of many.  Andrew didn’t even laugh anymore at her made-up words and unfit usage of real words.  They were simply “Mom’s weirdness”.

“Beepers,” she confirmed, a little embarrassed.  Sometimes being quirky wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.  “So do you wanna ride, or would you rather relax before your back-to-back shows?”

“Hell yes, I wanna ride.  I was just surprised that you did.  Consider yourself warned, though…  I don’t know any enchanted forests in Germany.”

She smiled at his gruff caution.  “Enchanted forests aren’t a prerequisite for me to enjoy ridin’ a motorcycle.  I’ll see if I can find us someplace interestin’ to go.”

48 - Lonely Nights Aren't Always Bad

Open laptop on the desk in front of her, Lilah stared out the window, taking in the darkened landscape the Dusseldorf hotel room she had booked for the night.  It was dotted with lights, but nothing was familiar to her, except the odd emptiness she’d been feeling ever since she left Bucharest – and Tony – six hours ago.

Lunch had come and gone reasonably well today, in her opinion.  If Jon didn’t like her now, he was at least able to coerce his dislike into a vague replica of acceptance.  As long as Tony was happy, Lilah was happy, and when she came back from the ladies’ room, he’d seemed more relaxed around his brother than before she left.

After leaving with Dorothea’s cell phone number and a promise to keep in touch, she and Tony had gone back to their room, where he asked about her travel plans to Germany.  He hadn’t been thrilled when she told him her flight boarded at five o’clock.  Then again, she wasn’t all that thrilled about it either. 

The original plan had been to meet an online friend, Andrea, tomorrow morning and spend the day toddling around Dusseldorf together.  Unfortunately, Andrea texted her this evening with unexpected family obligations, leaving Lilah on her own.

Being alone wasn’t a problem.  That never bothered her, but feeling as though she was wasting her limited time with Tony was bothersome, and it gave her unlimited time to dwell on the one thing she hadn't confided to him yet.

She was still wrestling with her conscience on that one.  It sounded a little incredible, even to her, and appeared to seriously negate some of what she'd already said.  She meant everything she had told him - with all her heart.  That's why this one last, niggling little thing was so troublesome.  As much as it fit, it didn't fit.

Sighing softly, she nibbled disinterestedly at the room service cheese pizza and went back to her email, pushing the worry aside and making herself grateful for time to catch up with her "people".  She had already talked to both Andrew and Joanna tonight, shortly after she arrived at the hotel.  Andrew had lined up another gig and Joanna was…well, Joanna. 

There would soon come a time when they were going to have to stop dancing around the elephant that dangled, unacknowledged, on the telephone line between them.   They were going to have to talk about Tony and the changes that were on the horizon for Lilah’s life.  Changes that would be taking place even if she and Tony said goodbye in Lisbon and never looked back. 

Tonight hadn’t been the right time, though, and Lilah didn’t want to sit around calculating when might be the right time.  Soon was good enough for the present and, right now, she needed to catch up with Angel.

TO: Aussie_Angel

FROM: MissLilahJane

July 12, 2011

Hi hi!  How’ve you been stranger?  I got your email demanding my presence in your inbox, so here I am.  *ta-da!*

I’m in Germany now, sitting in a hotel room eating cold room service pizza.  It’s quiet.  Very quiet.  Perfectly quiet enough to tell you about the latest in my adventures.  As always, this kind of stuff warrants the Angel Pinkie Swear of Silence.  Mmk?  You can’t tell anyone this stuff.  Morgan is the only other one that knows, and I’ll probably eventually tell Jo.  Maybe.  You know how that goes. 

So….

Glancing back over the events of the last couple of days – edited for discretion, of course – Lilah shook her head.  It was all so unreal.  And so freaking long!  By the time she highlighted the whole Jon scenario, Dorothea, and her continued good experience with Tony, her email was something closer to War and Peace than a friendly news-gram.   She hoped Angel wouldn’t fall asleep in the middle of it. 

Anyway, that’s what’s going on with me.  What’s the latest wonder in the land down under?  Hm?  Sorry this is so long.  *cringe*  I didn’t realize I had so much to tell you.  Email when you can.  If not, no worries.  I’ll be around and check back in when I get a chance.  Back-to-back shows this week so I might be on the run a bit, yanno?

*hugs* 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

LJ

Clicking the mouse to send the document across the digital airwaves, she thought she should probably give Morgan an update.  It wasn’t fair to leave a die-hard Jon girl so torn between lust and hate for her heart throb.

Lilah had just opened a new message window when her cell phone started singing and shimmying against the surface of the desk.  Her smile lit up as the little screen bearing Tony’s name.

“Hello?”

“Did you have any plans to call and let me know you were safe?”

He sounded…  ticked.  Very ticked.  The smile that had been so vibrant seconds ago, now dimmed with confusion and… guilt?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you expected me to.”

There was a sharp exhalation on the other end of the line and she could almost see the smoke spewing from between pursed lips.  She’d discovered in the past few days that he smoked more when he was wound up, in a vain effort to relax himself.   She also noticed he didn’t smoke as much when they were alone together.

“Are you kidding me?  Reach up and feel the slash marks on your neck, Lilah.  Hell yes, I expected you to.”

They weren’t exactly slash marks now.  More like scratches that had scabbed over.  In fact, they weren’t all that noticeable, she didn’t think. 

“I said I was sorry,” she reminded him mildly, uncertain as to how she should interpret his behavior.  Was he going to be someone else who didn’t want her going and doing without him?  Even in a short-term ‘relationship’ like theirs?  If that was the case, then she had sorely misjudged him and she should have guarded her heart more diligently.  This short-term thing would be plenty long enough to suit all parties involved.

“I didn’t realize you were goin’ to be…”  Be what?  Possessive?  Controlling?  Dictatorial?  Clingy?  Those were words that were all either too strong or completely inappropriate.  “My keeper.”

“I’m not your keeper.”  His voice still bore a heavy thread of frustration, but it had softened considerably.  “Go do what you want, when you want.  I’m not trying to stop you, but use a little common courtesy and let somebody know you’re safe.”

How did he know she hadn’t let somebody know she was safe?  After all, she’d talked to both Andrew and Jo.  And she’d emailed Angel.  The hint of a smile tickled the corner of her mouth, as the realization of what he was actually saying dawned on her.  

“You mean let you know I’m safe,” she corrected gently, leaning her forearms on the desk as the bubble screen saver took over the laptop display.

“Since I’m one of the few people you know on this continent, yeah.  And while we’re at it, gimme the rest of your travel itinerary so there aren’t any more unexpected surprises like today.”

Her stomach knotted in a way that was not altogether unpleasant.  His protectiveness invoked a surge of warmth within the knots, but the warmth was interlaced with icy fingers of trepidation. 

“Are you tryin’ to keep me on a chain?” 

Please tell me no.  I’ve had enough of that in my life.

“Chain?  No.”  Another sharply exhaled breath masked her own sigh of relief.  “But I’m not gonna lie.  I was looking forward to tonight, and was a little bit pissed to find out at the last minute that there is no tonight for us.”

With the perfect clarity that always accompanied hindsight, Lilah saw that she should have given him a little more warning before skittering off to the airport.  That was just respectful.

“You’re right.  I’m sorry.”  She briskly rubbed the touch pad on her computer, bringing it back to life.  “If you give me your email, I’ll send you the itinerary now.”

After rattling off the address so that she could send the information along, Tony contributed his own remorse to the conversation.  “I’m sorry if I was an ass.  It hasn’t been a great night.”

All worries about his potential to be domineering and overbearing disappeared like the morning mist in heat of the sun.  Dread took their place.  Everything had been fine this afternoon.  “What happened?  You’re not into it with Jon again are you?”

“Nah, nothing like that.  I just went out with some of the guys for Richie's birthday.”

Today was Richie's birthday.  How had that completely slipped her mind?

Bad Richie girl. 

Bad or not, it was a relief.  Lilah didn’t think she could go another round with Jon.  She had nothing else to fight him with.  “Oh.  And…?”

“And I didn’t enjoy it.  It was a long, monotonous, same-shit-different-city evening with Rew trying to goad me into doing stuff I didn’t want to do.  I had two drinks, got pissed and came back to the room to catch up on email and wait for you to call, which you didn’t.”

“I’m not goin’ to apologize again for not callin’, but I am sorry you didn’t have a good time with your friends.”

“Yeah, well, thanks.  It’s been a long tour.  I’m due for a break from them.”

“Did you at least get somethin’ accomplished with your spaghetti – excuse me, pasta – sauce dynasty?”

“I got a few details ironed out.  There are a million more, but at least I’m chipping away at them.  I got your email,” he abruptly changed the subject.  “Miss Lilah Jane?  Is your name Lilah Jane?”

“It is.  My family has always called me Lilah Jane.  It’s a Southern thang,” she drolly enlightened him about redneck culture.

“It’s cute,” was his distracted reply.  He’d clearly moved onto something else.  “I see you’re staying thre nights in Dusseldorf and flying to Zurich the morning after the show.”

“I haven’t looked lately, but, yeah, that sounds about right.”

“We’re doing a runner from Germany to Switzerland, so I won’t be staying in a hotel that night.  I’ll be sleeping on the bus.”

“That’s okay.  I can get this room for another night, or get the room in your hotel for another night.  It's no big deal.”

“Hm.” 

She wasn’t sure what the correct interpretation of that little grunt was.  “Jersey?”

“Would you wanna come with me?  I can’t promise deluxe accommodations.  We might even have to share one of those skinny-ass bunks, and there’ll definitely be a bunch of crew members on board.”

He was inviting her on a tour bus?  To share a bunk with him?  Talk about not knowing the correct interpretation of something…

“Do you want me to?”

A soft snort was his first response.  “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

Don’t push your luck, Lilah Jane.  If you question it to death, he might change his mind.

But if she didn’t question him, the questions would just swim around in her head the entire night and all day tomorrow.  And tomorrow night, for that matter.  And maybe for-freaking-ever, because things like that bugged her.

So she asked, “Why?”

“Whaddaya mean why?”  Lilah could almost see his forehead wrinkling with confusion. 

“Why do you want me to come along?”

There was a discreet pause before he bluntly announced, “I told you I like having you in my bed.  We don’t have a whole lotta more nights to do that, and I don’t want to waste them.”

“Jersey?”

“What?”  Even though he was still sounding a bit grumpy, she smiled. 

“Just for the record, is that anything like – maybe – you miss me?”

The soft snick of a lighter came over the line and he inhaled to start the cigarette burning.  Loudly blowing out that first puff of smoke, he then answered, “You realize we haven’t known really known each other long enough for that to make sense?”

“I haven’t known a whole lot of things to make sense so far when it comes to me and you.”

His unexpected chuckle sent a flock of turkey wings flapping down her spine.  Making him laugh gave her the biggest thrill.  Not as much as… other things she coaxed out of him, but it was pretty darn good.

“If that ain’t the damn truth,” he muttered wryly.  “You defy all logic, Bluegrass.”

That may be true, but he only had two drinks tonight.  Granted, he sounded as though he was smoking like a freight train, but it still felt like progress.  Lilah was slowly accomplishing what she came here to do.

“That didn’t answer my question.”

Again with the puffing, but this time it was accompanied by a brief staccato tapping.  “Let’s just say my bed looks kinda empty without you in it.  Now are you gonna come with me on the bus, or not?”

Her lips curved into a soft smile as she saw ‘Anthony M. Bongiovi’ pop up in her inbox, right above Angel’s reply.  She got distracted with double-clicking the email that very nearly made her want to giggle, and didn’t answer right away.  The message loaded quickly, and it didn’t take long to see why.  It was only four words.

Yes I miss you.

After reading that, there was really only one answer that would do.  Lilah would be crazy to consider saying anything other than, “I’d love to come with you.”

Meet Lilah!

For those of you who cared - You asked and here she is, with a little (lot of) help.  Thanks to the lovely lady who helped me compile a pool of "Lilahs" to choose from.  We found her!  :o)

For those of you who didn't care - thank you for your indulgence.

For those of you who hate Lilah - now you have something to throw darts at.

47 - Shifting Winds

“Admit it.  She’s nice,” Dorothea murmured against the underside of her husband’s jaw between kisses.  She had put her naughty boy up against the wall when they arrived back in their room, tossing aside the sunglasses and black cap that made up his incognito look.

“I don’t wanna talk about her now,” he grumbled, wriggling to invite her hands’ exploration under his shirt. 

Taking the hint, she slipped her hands under the brushed cotton tee, and carefully raked her nails over the tautly stretched skin housing his ribcage.  A sharp hiss reassured her that some things didn’t change, even in twenty-five years. She still knew his hot spots.

“Not long, but for a minute,” she negotiated, creating a nail trail around his torso, down over the small of his back and into the waistband of his jeans.  “She’s nice, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

Smiling against his neck, she kissed away his grunt of annoyance.  “Then why don’t you like her?”

“Because she bullied and connived to trick me into helping her stalk my brother.  Can we have sex now?”

Dorothea’s hands froze and she drew back to knit her brow confusedly.  “What?  How did she do that?  You said she cornered you at that Q&A.  You said nothing about bullying, conniving and tricking.  Spill it.”

“Dottie,” he groaned in frustration.  “I just wanna fuck before you go home.  Is that too much to ask?”

“I’ll fuck and suck you as soon as you tell me what happened at that Q&A.”

That was a major concession and he knew it.  She didn’t drop to her knees too often, and the lure of it had his eyes blazing blue heat as he beat out staccato answers.

“She asked if I approved everybody who worked backstage.  When I said I left it up to my people, she pushed.  Asked if the video had sole discretion over his crew.  She wormed her way backstage.”

“So she asked.  As in got up in your face and demanded?”  That just didn’t sound right to Dorothea, unless Lilah was way more two-faced than she’d given her credit for.

“No…”

“She was a bully?  Obnoxious and pushy?”

“No…” 

“Then how was she, Jon?”

“You said you were gonna suck me,” he reminded, pushing a hand into her hair and plastering on the boyish smile that reminded her of their high school days.  It was the most effective tool in his charming arsenal, but she steeled herself against it.

Jon’s memory wasn’t faulty.  He knew damn well that her conditions hadn’t been met, and that she wouldn’t be hitting the floor until they were.   “How was she?  Her demeanor?  Bitchy?”

“No, she wasn’t bitchy,” he confessed on a quiet sigh.  “She bumbled around a lot.  I remember thinking she was gonna hyperventilate or pass out.”

“She was scared to even ask a question and yet you took an instant dislike to her?”

“You know how I am about trusting people.  Especially people who seem to know their way around the system.”

Dorothea took her own sigh and leaned into her husband.  With her chin tucked into his shoulder, she said quietly.  “Yeah, I know, and in most cases you’re perfectly justified in withholding that trust.”

“But not this one?”  His breath warmed the skin at her temple, and soft lips that were a comforting shade of familiar tickled her with a butterfly kiss.  Her fingers twisted in the thick hair that hung a little too long on his collar as she found a way to put this all in context for him.

“Do you remember when we got married?”

God knew Dorothea did.  There had been a stretch of time where she had been Public Enemy Number One for taking Jon off the market.  Sure, some of the fans were congratulatory and supportive, but there were an equal number who were bitchy and vindictive.  The vindictive ones didn’t even bother her so much.  But the people closest to them…

Strong arms encircled Dorothea and held her close.  “You know I do.”

“And how everybody was bitching and screaming that it was the stupidest thing you’d ever done in your life?”

The arms that represented home cinched a little tighter, and she twined her arms around his waist to complete the circle.  “Yeah, so?”

“Every time you turned around, somebody else was giving you hell for ruining your career, but you dug in your heels and defended me time after time until you were blue in the face.”  A soft grunt confirmed her memory.  “Who was the one person who never told you it was a mistake?”

“Jesus, Dottie. You know who.”

She lifted her head to peer deep into his eyes.  “And so do you.  Tony might have been surprised at first, but he was the first one to have your back – to have my back.  Even if you don’t understand what he’s doing, he deserves your loyalty.”  Slipping her fingers into his belt loops, she tugged twice, sharply.  “Don’t you think?”

The quiet chuckle rattled against her chest.  “Is this necessary?  I already told him to do what he wanted.”

“Yeah, but are you just paying lip service?  I want you to believe what you’re saying.”

He dipped to mark her lips with the kiss she’d fallen in love with when she was fifteen years old.  “I do believe.   Does that make you happy, dear?”

This was her husband.  This was the compassionate man she’d married.  The one who cared about people and their plights.  The one who put family above all else.  The one who, when he loved, loved with his whole heart. 

“Very much so.  I love you, Johnny.”

“I love you, too, Baby.  Now…”  He conjured up his bad boy gin.  “Don’t we have some unfinished business?”

Her hands slid around to the button on his jeans, popping it with her own wicked grin as she sank to the plush carpeting.  “It won’t stay unfinished for long.  I give it three minutes.”

✧✧✧

“Dammit Rew, get off my ass,” Tony groused irritably, the bar’s loud music camouflaging the clatter of ice cubes in his Jack and Coke.  The padded rail hit him right in the kidneys as he surveyed the crowded room.  Shifting from one foot to the other, he propped an elbow on the rail and leaned his weight into it.

The freckled man backhanded him in the shoulder, snorting disgustedly.  “C’mon, man!  That stacked blonde is givin’ you the eye and you’re sittin’ there like a big dumb Italian salami.  Step up to the plate and take a swing!”

“Dumbass.  That blonde has her eye on Sambo.  She’s just tryin’ to figure out if I look more like Matt or Jon.”

And that was the God’s honest truth.  He could see it in the way she studied him for a few seconds, and then flicked her eyes across the room where Matt was standing.  Jon’s face, of course, she would have memorized.  In between mystery-solving glances, she would creep closer to Richie, flashing a blinding smile to the Birthday Boy every time she caught him looking.

And I don’t give a rat’s ass.

“You just don’t have the balls to go test the water.”

Tony tipped back his drink to keep from flying off the handle at his buddy.  This wasn’t any different than what they’d done dozens – hundreds – of times before.  Tony drank, Mike drank.  When Mike drank enough, he started taking pot shots.  Razzing Tony was one of his favorite hobbies, and razzing him about women definitively topped the list.

Tonight, however, Tony just wasn’t in the mood for it.  He’d had his mind set on having Lilah, and nothing else would do.  It was kind of like getting your mouth set for steak and being offered chicken.  The chicken might even be better for you, but it just wasn’t the same.

“Fuck off.”

“Whatsa matter?  You too pussy?”

Tony took another slow, deliberate drink before shaking his head sadly.  “You realize we’re old, right?  We aren’t twenty-something studs looking to nail everything with a pulse and the right plumbing.”

“First of all, speak for yourself.”  He shoved his dark horn-rimmed glasses up his nose and shook out a cigarette.  “And even if we are mature, why are we gonna waste the opportunity God gave us?  We’re only here for tonight.  That means no obligations tomorrow.”

“It’s not God, it’s Jon.”

“Whassup, gentlemen?”  Richie squeezed between them and asked the bartender for a Diet Coke.  “Are we having a stupendous time?  If I gotta get old, somebody better be enjoying it.”

Mike tipped his head back and blew out his first drag of smoke, before sniping, “Some of us could be having a much better time if we’d get off our pansy asses and partake of the female company.”

Eyeing Tony with a smirk, the guitarist asked with feigned casualness, “Where’s that friend of yours?  You know, the one who’s ‘just a woman’.”

Great.  Sambora was going to start in on him, too.  He could have these drinks in his room alone with far less hassle.  Drunken business emails were preferable to this crap.

“Dusseldorf.”

Disregarding the side conversation he didn’t really catch the undertones of, Mike nudged Richie and kicked his chin toward the aforementioned blonde.  “See her?  I’m trying to tell TBJ that she’s checkin’ him out and that he should take advantage of her interest and our short time in town.”

“The blonde there in the short black dress?”   When Mike nodded and kept his gaze locked on her, the corners of Richie’s mouth pulled down in a mock frown, and he covertly winked at Tony.  “That’s Sheree, and she’s goin’ home with me tonight.   She’s was trying to decide who TBJ here resembled more – Matt or Jon.”

That was enough for Tony.  He deposited his empty glass on the bar with a ‘thunk’ and turned an evil eye on Mike.  “I told you, dipshit.”

“So?”  His friend was determined.  “There’s lots more women trolling tonight.”

Tony shook his head, ignoring Mike and turning to the man retrieving his Diet Coke from the bar.  He thumped him once on the back, saying, “Rich, happy birthday, man.  I’ve got stuff to do, so I'm calling it a night. Later, Rew.”

As he walked away, he heard Rew’s disgusted sigh.  “That chick’s neutered him.”

“Oh, I don’t think he’s been neutered,” Richie chortled.  “In fact, I think he’s got the exact opposite problem, but she’s the only one he wants solving it.”

46 - The Lunch Bunch

“Stop,” Tony ordered with a gentle squeeze of her hand as they exited the elevator.  She may not know what was going on in his head or his true ‘feelings’ for her, but she took pleasure in the way he always reached for her hand when they went out together. 

Lilah’s untethered hair slid sideways across her shoulders when she tipped her face up to his.  “Stop what?”

Holding the door to the restaurant, he quirked that left eyebrow at her.  The one that he used to call her bluffs.  “Stop stressing.  This isn’t the Spanish Inquisition, it’s just lunch.”

That remains to be seen.

“I know,” she agreed sunnily, smiling her thanks as she slid by him.  “And I really enjoyed my lunch here yesterday.  I’m cravin’ another one of those turkey sandwiches.”

“You’re a lousy liar.”  He spoke under his breath in deference to the restaurant’s subdued atmosphere – and their proximity to Jon and Dorothea. 

The other couple was already seated at a table in a sunny corner by the window.  Jon had his back to the room while Dorothea sat facing it, mouth curled up in a tight semblance of a smile.  Their positions at the table meant that Lilah and Tony would also be sitting across from one another, and that Lilah would be sitting beside Jon.

This is gonna be a hoot.  I can just tell.

“Hi guys,” the Queen of New Jersey welcomed affably.

Releasing hands, Tony and Lilah parted to take their chairs on opposite sides of the table.  Before Tony sat, he bent to brush a kiss against Dorothea’s cheek.  “Hey.”  Turning to include his brother in the greeting, he added, “How’s it going?”

“Good, man,” Jon returned before swiveling his head and greeting her personally.  “Lilah.”

Sliding into her seat with a vague smile, Lilah pulled at the hem of her sunshine-yellow top with a demure, “Hello, Mr. Bongiovi.  Dorothea, it’s nice to see you again.”

“It’s good to see you, too.  But you don’t need to call him Mister.  He’s just Jon.  Isn’t that right, honey?”

It could very well have been Lilah’s sexually overcharged imagination, but she could swear a heated look passed between husband and wife before Jon responded. 

“Yeah, of course.  No need for formalities.”

The waitress came and, as they perused their menus and engaged in mundane chitchat, it felt a lot like the Bongiovi version of the polite game.  Lilah didn’t care for it much more with them than she did with Joanna.  It was all she could do to tolerate it and keep up her end of the politeness until they got their drinks and submitted their lunch orders. 

The awkwardness had nothing to do with Dorothea or Tony, seeing as she had shared amicable meals with both of them.  It had any and everything to do with Jon and the way he kept sneaking glances at her – or rather her neck, since he was seated on her right.  Curiosity practically vibrated from him, which she supposed she should consider a welcome relief from hostility.  Regardless, she wanted it to go away.

With that goal foremost in her mind, Lilah took the bull very gently by the horns and met Jon’s eyes when asking, “You seem to be interested in my scars.  Did Tony tell you how I got them?”

“No.”

Her eyes skated to Tony, silently asking why.  When he finished his swallow of coffee, he said simply, “You carry the scars.  You decide who gets to know why.”

It would have been easier if he had told Jon, but the thoughtful consideration was one more reason to be in awe of the darkly handsome man seated across from her.  “Thank you,” she said, willing her heart to deflate enough to fit the confines of her ribcage before turning to the older of the brothers.  “Are you interested in knowing?”

“Lilah,” Dorothea interjected.  “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

Keeping her focus on the Bon Jovi front man, she assured his wife, “I think I’d like him to rest assured that I was a victim, not an executioner.”

He had the good grace to look pained at the veiled reference to his insinuation that she killed Amos – pained enough to eat away a touch of her bitterness.  She’d been striving to keep her tone either amicable or neutral and now it wasn’t quite so much of an effort.

“Oh, I’m sure he didn’t – “

“Yes, he did,” Lilah quietly interrupted Dorothea, Jon’s accusation still quite vivid in her mind.  She smirked wryly at him, knowing that they were on the same page.  “But I didn’t kill my husband, Jon.”

“Then who did?”

“That would be his mistress.  The same woman who tried to kill me.”

Dorothea’s quietly indrawn breath coincided with Jon’s uncomfortable shifting in his seat.  He suddenly found his silverware to be utterly fascinating, and Lilah liked to think he looked a little bit ashamed.  Embarrassed, at a minimum. 

Whatever his state of mind, he still managed to ask, “Why?”

“Bluegrass, you don’t have to do this.”

“It’s okay,” she reassured Tony.  “If he doesn’t like me, at least I know it’s because of me and not some vague detective’s report.”  She pushed forward, not allowing anyone the time to comment on that remark.  “My husband got tired of being a grownup, I guess.  House payments, car payments and yard work weren’t as much fun as poppin’ pills and gettin’ high, and I’m not as young or pretty as his mistress.  Trouble was, he didn’t wanna be grown up enough to ask for a divorce, either, and that made her mad enough to take matters into her own hands.”

Lilah's mouth was inexplicably dry and she stole a moment to wet it from the water glass sitting on the white linen tablecloth, to her right.   Savoring the cool liquid as it sloshed through her mouth, she blotted her lips after swallowing. 

“To make a long story short, she tried to shoot me through the front window of a restaurant.  The scars are glass cuts.”

“What?  Do you have a multi-million dollar life insurance policy?”

Lilah shook her head.  “Just one million, and so did he.  He might not have realized he wasn’t my beneficiary, though.  That money would have all gone to my son.”

“If she wanted him so bad, why’d she kill him?”

Jon’s question was one Lilah had asked herself many times, and there was only one answer she’d been able to come up with.  “Drug users aren’t the clearest thinkers in the world, and I can’t pretend to know what was goin’ through her mind.  Last I heard, she still wasn’t real sure, herself, but I guess she was mad because he made her go through all that and I was still alive.  And mad at me, so she tried to frame me for it.”

“That’s awful,” Dorothea sympathized and genuine remorse was highlighted in every nuance of her facial expression.  “I’m so sorry you had to go through something like that.”

Compelled by that magnetic force that always drew her to him, Lilah delivered her heartfelt response directly to Tony.  “I would say that I am too, but it’s the reason I’m sitting here now.  I find that hard to regret.”

✧✧✧

Tony and Dorothea both looked at Jon expectantly.

“Well?” his brother prompted.  “Do you feel like a total asshole now?”

It was a good thirty minutes of pleasant and seemingly friendly conversation since Lilah shared her revelation, and their plates bore nothing but crumbs.  Citing too much water, she had just excused herself to the ladies’ room, leaving Tony the perfect opening.

Jon planted his coffee cup on the table, a thoughtful frown wrinkling his forehead.  “No.  If you’re waitin’ for me to apologize for being cautious, it ain’t gonna happen.”

“Jesus, you stubborn sonofabitch.  I’m waitin’ for you to apologize for thinking I’m a moron when it comes to people, and to admit Lilah’s not some kind of she-devil.”

“I never said you were a moron when it comes to people.”

“No, you just implied that I think with my dick and am a gullible sap that has no common sense.  I’d like an apology.” 

“You’re a dumbass,” Jon scoffed, swirling the dregs of his coffee in the bottom of his cup.  “I did no such thing.”

“That’s exactly what you did,” Dorothea interjected mildly, admonishing her husband’s denial.  “He deserves the apology.”

“I’m not apologizing for something he thought that I thought, when I never thought it.”  Blue eyes locked on blue.  “And if he tells me he’s gonna take her home after Lisbon, then all of the above applies.”

“What’s it to you if I do?  You’ve spent the last hour with her.  Surely to God you can tell she’s a decent person.”

Big brother wasn’t giving up anything without a fight and ungenerously admitted, “She’s okay, now answer my question.  You’re not thinking about doing something stupid are you?”

Something stupid?  Not likely.  After all, he’d purposefully smothered her declaration of love before it could happen.  Tony might be wrong, but he was pretty sure that’s what Lilah had been going to say last night.  The thought had wigged him out a little, prompting his knee-jerk reaction to jump in before it could happen.  Nothing was more awkward than floundering for an answer to that particular declaration and he had no answer – least-wise no answer that wouldn’t have killed her afterglow buzz.

“No, jerkoff, I’m not thinking about ‘doing something stupid’,” he huffed mildly.  “I like her.  I’m keeping an eye on her.  We’re enjoying one another’s company for as long as the tour lasts.  That’s the full extent of my plans.”

“Tony…”  Now he was on the receiving end of Dorothea’s admonishment.  Turning, he found his sister-in-law’s brown eyes full of skeptical concern.  “Are you sure that’s all there is to it?”

No, he wasn’t sure, but why did he have to be?  He just met her a couple of weeks ago.  Nobody had their future planned out in two weeks’ time.

“That’s all there is today.  I don’t know about tomorrow or the day after that.  I’m just enjoying being with a woman who likes me for me.  Is that a fucking crime?”

Husband and wife were both silent, inspecting him as though they expected his head to explode and an alien to pop out and clear the restaurant with his ray gun, a la “Men in Black”. 

“No,” Dorothea was the first to reassure him, folding her hand over his with a supportive squeeze.  “It’s not a crime at all.  And whether it goes miles further down the road, or ends today, we’ll be whatever you need us to be, because we’re family and we love you.  Isn’t that right, Jon?”

His brother was in no hurry to respond, still inspecting him through eyes slitted with thoughtful speculation.  Eventually though, with only minimal prompting from his better half, he nodded slowly.  “Yeah.  I’m tired of butting heads with you.  If Lilah Bennett makes you feel good, then… let her make you feel good.  Just don’t let her rip your heart out, okay?  Because that will piss me off and then she’ll find out just how much of an asshole I can really be.”

He returned Jon’s lop-sided grin with one of his own and held up a fist.  When the brothers tapped knuckles, Tony drawled, “Don’t worry about my heart.  I think it’s safe.”